Saturday, January 26, 2013

By Any Means


The Roberts Court will soon decide
Another healthcare suit.
And how will Justice Roberts vote
To settle the dispute?

Perhaps by vote of five to four
The mandate stays intact,
As Roberts and the liberal wing
Maintain their lawless pact.

Perhaps, with firm and august words,
The Chief himself will write,
That morals need not come through faith,
Protected by a right.

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Executive Orders


My fellow Americans, lend me your ears.
I promise decisions to dampen your fears.
The Sandy Hook killings – I call it a spree –
Engendered swift action from Biden and me.

When Biden, Pelosi, and dear Harry Reid
Requested prompt action, I quickly agreed.
My efforts were frenzied and scripted to show
Executive action is ready to go.

I looked through the annals of illegal acts;
I combed through the files to gather the facts.
And based on the crimes of two hundred years past,
I have a solution of worth unsurpassed.

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Keep and Bear

Article link: Piers Morgan discovers Ben Shapiro isn’t Alex Jones

A city feller stopped his car
A bit beyond my lane.
He walked the gravel to the house,
My thoughts to ascertain.

“I heard your rifle’s loud report,”
The city feller said,
“About a mile north of here,
And wondered who was dead.”

“Well, Aunt Jemimah, Uncle Ben,
And Mr. Boyardee
Have gone to meet their Maker’s wrath,”
I said, and slapped my knee.

That city feller’s sense of fun
Was badly underused.
He stood there mute, like made of stone,
For he was not amused.

Saturday, January 5, 2013

I Believe in Uncle Sam


Oh every year on Christmas Eve
I climb into my bed,
And dream of gifts I know will come
From Santa and his sled.

For Santa brings me this and that,
And other things for free.
So I believe in Santa Claus
And what he does for me.

The Easter Bunny does the same
With malted eggs and sweets.
So I believe he must exist
To furnish me with treats.