Saturday, November 24, 2012

Beware the Chair, Redux

The Bard is taking the week off. However, in light of the recent vote by the San Francisco Board of Supervisors to ban public nudity, I thought I'd re-post a recent favorite.

Article link: San Francisco may require seat protection from nudists

Of San Francisco fare
One ought to be aware,
For in the public square
Some residents are bare.

And no Godiva hair,
Nor tall Godiva mare,
Is needed to forswear
Your britches by the pair.

The people there don’t care
If all the public share
Your dearth of outerwear
And lack of underwear.

But now there is a scare
About this great affair,
For some would like to spare
The folks who visit there.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Let Them Eat Bread!

Alas! The Twinkie has expired.
The Hostess brand is dead.
The unions killed the golden cake,
And cried, “Let them eat bread!”

Though cream was what the masses craved,
The unions overfed.
They chose an unemployment check,
And cried, “Let them eat bread!”

So when Thanksgiving dinner’s served
I’ll gaze across the spread,
And cry a tear for Twinkies lost –
And binge on pie instead.

Saturday, November 10, 2012


I strode into the public square
To politick the throng.
I hoped to get a hearing there,
But found that I was wrong.

I spoke of freedom to achieve,
By labor well applied.
But multitudes would sooner reave
Than have the gilt subside.

I spoke to them of wrong and right,
Of evil and the good.
But greed and envy, hate and spite
Were all they understood.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Early and Often

I voted once in Beaufort
As one William D. Malloy,
The toast of all my neighbors
And a former altar boy.

In Henderson I voted
As one Jackson, Jimmy J.,
The man with cat-eyed glasses
And a laughable toupee.

And then a notion struck me
As acceptable to do:
I’d find another ballot
And I’d make it into two.