Saturday, September 29, 2012

The Economic Patriot


An economic patriot
Is what I want to be:
I vote Obama’s party line

And when the doctor says I need
A colonoscopy,
Obama and the bureaucrats

Or if I give him loads of cash,
His henchman have agreed,
My solar-power business loans

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Foiled by Metaphysics


A novel strain of thought persists
Among our leading physicists,
That proving quantum gravity
Will end theistic pravity.

For physicists are doctrinaire
About the God that isn’t there,
And work their lives to demonstrate
That God did not, in fact, create.

Which seems an awful way to live:
To try to prove a negative.
And further to perplex, perform
The task on that which has no form.

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Springtime for Obama


In Cairo and in Tripoli,
In Yemen and Amman,
Our Foreign Service diplomats
Are mobbed and set upon.

At embassies and consulates
In London and Kuwait,
The mobs that burn the Stars and Stripes
Spew venom, rage and hate.

From Europe to the Middle East
The street has gone berserk,
Infecting Asians, Africans,
The Arab and the Turk.

Saturday, September 8, 2012

Convention Diary


Of course I booed the deity;
Including God was wrong.
And then I booed Jerusalem
And sang a drinking song.

I raised a glass to 44,
The savior of our times.
I cursed the reign of 43,
And cursed again his crimes.

I cheered for little Sandra Fluke,
Our finest legal mind,
Before I fired up my bong
And started to unwind.

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Dumb as Hell


The students sitting for the test
Were surely not the district’s best.
They couldn’t read or write or spell.
Those darling kids were dumb as hell.

Now some may say, “Don’t let them fail.
Just grade them on a different scale.”
And that’s the way it was designed,
Before No Child Left Behind.

But now the school needs a mark
That shows an upward trending arc,
With students well above the norm
And expectations to perform!