Saturday, July 28, 2012

Prior Restraint


Not a peep
About the Veep
Until the call is done.
You cannot tweet
’Til he’s complete,
Or otherwise make fun.

If he should gaffe
The White House staff
May have the time enough,
To help walk back
The VP's knack
Of speaking off the cuff.

The loyal press
Will not express
A single, small complaint,
For they agree
The odd VP
Requires some restraint.

Saturday, July 21, 2012

In the Zone


Professors in the lecture hall
Harangue the students, one and all,
With leftist theories from a script
Exhumed from Karl Marx’s crypt.

Protected by the tenure shield,
Their politics are unconcealed,
And wielded like a battle axe,
Devoid of logic, truth or facts.

Attentive students must submit
To academic holy writ
On climate change and its effects,
On reproductive rights and sex.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

I Didn’t Tell My Story


I didn’t tell my story.
I didn’t sell my spiel.
And that could be the error
That leads to my repeal.

My movement is in trouble.
My donors are afraid.
My lack of storytelling
Has made excitement fade.

Until the fall election,
I’ll take the time to tell
A more developed story,
And sell it very well.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Setting the Bar


Each month I take my paycheck home
And hand it to my wife,
Who hopes and prays it might support
Our fancy way of life.

The rent is paid, and then the lights,
And then the doctor bill,
And if the month is very good,
The balance goes for swill.

And each and every single month,
My wife proclaims to me,
“If you were more than half a man,
You’d make your wage times three.”