Saturday, September 1, 2012

Dumb as Hell

The students sitting for the test
Were surely not the district’s best.
They couldn’t read or write or spell.
Those darling kids were dumb as hell.

Now some may say, “Don’t let them fail.
Just grade them on a different scale.”
And that’s the way it was designed,
Before No Child Left Behind.

But now the school needs a mark
That shows an upward trending arc,
With students well above the norm
And expectations to perform!

I did not want to close our doors
Because of lousy student scores.
I’d rather help the darlings cheat
Than lose my job and hit the street.

The students sitting in the class
Were never, ever going to pass,
Without the answers to the test
Which I provided, on request.

Though caught, I do not feel remorse
For what I did, because, of course,
It never would have ended well:
Those darling kids were dumb as hell.


  1. As a teacher, I can relate to this wonderful work of verse!

  2. It might not be that they are "dumb,"
    _____ but simply unprepared.
    With backgrounds sure to keep minds numb
    _____ they've never even dared
    To think one day that they might rise
    _____ above the welfare classes
    Because the Bleedings Hearts' harsh cries
    _____ make dupes of deprived masses.

    ~ FreeThinke

    If your mind is in a fog,
    Or if you need a rest,
    Come share your thinking at my blog
    To help feel less distressed.

  3. Give that teacher a "Rose"
    For not teaching those dumb as hell
    The art of using Prose
    How would anyone ever tell

    Most of them at the DN convention
    Ever see such a pile of dumb nuts
    Some would claim to be democratic
    All denying being bureaucratic
    Sitting on broad butts
    With a big plastic smile
    As crooked as a country mile
    Never saw one with a "Rose"

    Notice God's absence from the DN convention
    Maybe just forgot how to say God
    Probably not, haven't stopped talking
    Come November, lets send em walking
    Better yet, sweep em out of town
    Seen many a better looking clown

    Hope this beats dumb as hell
    Family will ring my bell
    Claiming this isn't prose
    Maybe, maybe they'll give me a "Rose"