Monday, April 9, 2012

Milquetoast Mercenary


As I concocted battle plans
For carpet-bombing Yemen,
The airways filled with news reports
About a War on Women.

I signed upon the dotted line
To get a bit of action,
As fighting in the culture wars
Provides me satisfaction.

But when I see the Wassermans
Who battle for their gender,
I’m seized by panic, fear, and dread,
And tempted to surrender.

Instead I’ve found another war
That suits me as a killer:
The GOP’s preemptive strike
Against the caterpillar.

Those many-legged herbivores
Much better suit my fancy:
I’d rather fight the lot of them
Than face a cornered Nancy.

Other Nancy Pelosi posts:

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