Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Profiles in Prevarication


Where were the social scientists
With all their great advice,
When I was joining Match.com
In search of someone nice?

I worked my profile for a week,
And dropped a couple stone
Between the numbers on the scale
And what I let be known.

I posted in the income field
The cash I hope to earn,
Instead of what is listed on
My latest tax return.

But even though I fudged a bit
I have been shocked to find
The fabrications people tell,
And lies they hide behind.

If only social scientists
Had warned me off the web,
I never would have left my house
To meet a girl named Deb.

A girl named Deb who ordered wine
And ate a huge filet,
Who closed the bar at 2:15
And left me here to pay.

I should have been a better son
And listened to my mom,
Who warned me of the awful girls
Who post on Match.com.

Other posts of a personal nature:
     Jug of Jack
     The Imposter

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