My uncle Alp, a wealthy Turk,
Was able to secure me work
Deciding cases of the sort
Which come before the Climate Court.
My role as Climate Trial Judge
Provides the means to give a nudge
To Britain and the USA –
In other words: I make them pay.
Because, according to the law,
From which no country can withdraw,
Developed countries such as these
Are pushing earth into a freeze.
Or maybe that was last year’s take,
And now we think the earth will bake –
But either way the climate threat
Means Western countries owe a debt.
The debt must quickly be repaid
By dumping grants of foreign aid
Upon the Southern Hemisphere –
Within the current fiscal year.
And should a debtor fall behind,
The court is not at all inclined
To look with favor on its pleas,
If funds are there for us to seize.
The power that the court shall wield
May not be set aside, appealed,
Reversed or otherwise denied –
It is but I who shall decide.
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