Monday, October 24, 2011

Pancake Protection Act


To substitute with sugar cane
For maple syrup stock,
A man would need to be insane,
Or suffering from shock.

But leave it to the FDA
To find just such a man,
Whose fraudulence could wash away
The Maple Market Plan.

The fraud involved in such an act
Is serious indeed,
And ought to spur us to enact
A law with blazing speed.

For when a man engages in
Such dupery and crime,
He ought to find the wage of sin
Is lengthy prison time.

And thus the senators from Maine,
Vermont and New York State,
Will jail a man should he profane
The syrup on your plate.

Which seems an honest use of time
To stop the growing threat
Of maple-labeled syrup crime,
By which we are beset.

For how can we be truly safe
If we cannot be sure,
That every homeless, hungry waif
Has syrup that is pure?

So push aside employment bills
And other trite debate;
Protect Vermonter’s maple mills,
And those from New York State.

Other legendary legislation:

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