Sunday, August 21, 2011

Answering Machine Message

Don’t bother leaving me your name,
Or date and time you called;
I’m on the road to Illinois –
Unless my car has stalled.

I’m headed for Chicago now,
And plan to soon reside,
With all the sweet and liberal folks
There on the old South Side.

Since losing both my job and house
I’ve lived in dire straits,
But I’ve been blessed by all the gods
And smiled on by fates.

For I own two of man’s best friend
And hear the pair is worth,
Three hundred thousand dollars each,
If owned from date of birth.

So said the jury in the case
Of canine homicide,
Where cops pulled out their firearms
And shot the dog, which died.

So I’ll be gone about a month
And if all goes as planned,
I’ll bury both my canine friends
And score six hundred grand!

Other animal kingdom posts:

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