Friday, August 12, 2011

The Abdominous Strain

May the bullies that batter the buttery boys
Be brought up on federal writs,
And the gadflies who gape at the gallon-sized gals
Be ground into granular bits.

For us fatties have found a fantastic new foil
To fend off the fiends and our foes:
The Safe Schools Act will supply us with succor
And siphon off all of our woes.

For if children can chide the chubby among us
The government ought to be keen
To suspend all the salaries at schools that slip
From teachers on up to the dean.

For us portly and paunchy and potbellied pals
Who patiently put up with pain,
The presence of pols who perceive us as victims
Can kick start our new gravy train.

And for those who would fault us for fighting for feds
To fend off us fleshy folks’ foes:
It’s your cacomorphobia causing chagrin;
Your hatefulness suddenly shows!

Other posts about protected classes:

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