Archive link: Harry Reid: 'Foolish' for Democrats to offer budget plan
Young Harold Andrew Murgatroid
Kept both his parents well annoyed:
His mother drank and fought despair;
His father raged and lost his hair.
Responding to his growing cheek
His parents used the old technique
Of sending him to boarding school,
In hopes it could their boy retool.
The man in charge, a proper type,
Was not afraid to leave a stripe
Across the bottoms of the boys
Who sassed their elders, or made noise.
The teachers often did enrich
Young Harold’s studies with a switch,
Which led, before the year adjourned,
To evidence the boy had turned.
To mind his Ps and mind his Qs.
He learned to say both 'Thanks' and 'Please'
And not to pester, shout or tease.
But all the progress he had made
Was put at risk when he surveyed
The summer reading master list
The teachers posted in their midst.
For there among the manuscripts
And hardbound books were certain clips
Of Daniel Webster’s last reply
To Robert Hayne in days gone by.
He spent a week in rest at home
Before he cracked the dusty tome
That told the tale of great debates
And arguments among the states.
Young Harold's interest soon was piqued
And through the manuscript he streaked;
Aloud he read, as he preferred,
Each paragraph and every word.
And when the manuscript was done
The boy resolved to have his fun
By watching hours of C-SPAN,
Which entertains the common man.
But there upon the Senate floor
The great debate was seen no more;
Instead of Webster, who could lead,
Our Harold saw one Harry Reid.
And when his namesake rose to speak
Young Harold heard his bland technique,
And saw the Leader hem and haw
On why he would ignore the law.
“I don’t intend to play the fool,
No matter what the law or rule.
No budgets will be seen or read;
We’ll wait for Biden’s group instead.”
Our pliant Harold Murgatroid
Saw all his lessons then destroyed.
For there the Leader did convey:
He need not rule or law obey.
Which turned poor Harold on a dime
To living out a life of crime.
For if the law could be ignored
By Senators, he was on-board.
He joined an outfit called ACORN,
And swore upon his own firstborn
To use his opportunities
To organize communities.
Perhaps we’ll see the blackguard soon,
From all the laws of man immune,
And running for a Senate seat
With only Harry Reid to beat.