Saturday, May 28, 2011

Wasserman Etymology

Article links: Wasserman Schultz attacks GOP on Medicare, women and cars.

Real etymology is fun,
Take for example: wasserman.

When traced back to its German root
Most linguists say, without dispute,
The word means monster of the sea;
A cousin of the manatee.

(The wasser genus is a clan
That’s partly wasser, partly man.)

When wassers want a bite to eat
They cull a ship from ’midst the fleet,
And breathing fire with a roar,
Displace it to the ocean floor.

(Some child wassers, having throats
Much smaller, largely stick to boats.)

Ignoring sailors trapped within
The wassers eat the hull and then
Beginning with the upper deck,
Consume the balance of the wreck.

(Which may explain why I refuse
To sign up for a pleasure cruise.)

Ms. Debbie Schultz née Wasserman
Cannot by wassers be outdone.
On Wiki I found evidence,
That leaves no room for false pretense.

(And false pretense is known quite well
To Democratic personnel.)

Before she moved on to DC
She tried to save the Manatee,
Receiving from their evil board
A ‘Save The Manatee’ award.

(A little fishy might describe
A commendation from that tribe.)*

If this indictment won’t suffice,
She has engaged in other vice:
As Chair she heads the DNC,
Appearing often on TV.

(Like wassers in the tales of yore
She bellows like a wild boar.)

When speaking to the fourth estate,
She works to wreck the ship of state,
By telling tales of Medi-Scare
That drive our seniors to despair.

(She also claims the GOP
Hates those referred to as a she.)

I think this new Obama pal
Might best be known as ‘Love Canal.’
For from her rude and toxic mouth
She spreads her poison, north and south.

(While driving an Infinity,
A carbon-belching SUV.)

* Before you write me to correct,
   I’m well aware, because I checked:
   The family of the manatee
   Is mammalian, trichechidae.

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