The Paper Chase

Article Link: Venezuela toilet paper shortage an anti-Bolivarian conspiracy, gov't claims

 

The socialist caucus

Now running Caracas

Is on the hot seat in the polls.

The national issue?

A shortage of tissue

That common folk purchase in rolls.

 

The problem is vivid.

The public is livid,

As price controls wipe out supply.

Now people are queuing

In hopes of accruing

A super absorbent two-ply.

Catastrophic Coverage

Article link: Obamacare will improve… marriages?

 

My wife revealed just yesterday

Proposals much like mine,

Had been by her received from men

Who ordered better wine.

 

And not in wine alone was I

Below the standard mean,

But I was wanting in my choice

Of bistro and cuisine.

 

My raiment had not measured up,

My tie was short of chic,

And further, to my lasting shame,

My prosody was weak.

Mr. Bumble Was Right

Article link: Calling a Classmate a 'Fat Ass' Is Now a Courtroom Matter in New Jersey

 

It’s come to this:

You now can parse

A phrase about

A chubby arse

Before a judge,

Before the law,

And thus compel

The state withdraw

The awful charge,

The awful shame,

The bully tag

Against your name.

Gracious in Defeat

Article link: Gun defeat 'shameful day for Washington'

 

Ever gracious in defeat,

The President decries

The winners of the gun debate

For telling brazen lies.

 

Always gracious in defeat,

Their logic he assaults.

He questions their integrity,

And shames them for their faults.

 

Truly gracious in defeat,

He points across the aisle,

And paints opponents of his plan

As wicked, false, and vile.

The Ruling Class

I’ve often criticized the men

Who drive our state affairs.

I’ve mocked the manner of their speech

And parodied their airs.

 

Impugned the motives of their deeds

Have I, and even more,

I’ve made a sport of prodding them

For issues they ignore.

 

But in a flash of clarity

I ponder them anew,

And see them in another light

I saw not hitherto.